We Need To Talk About Covid

He’s pure evil

Give me the apocalypse. A biblical flood. A meteor. A flash of a nude Donald Trump struggling on the toilet. Boom. It’s all over. We’re dead. This gradual and painful end that we’re all going through is for disco.

This virus is taking its sadistically sweet time. Picking us a part one by one. Covid-19 is another planetary predator. Its name even sounds alien. What did we do to you, mofo?

Are you the concoction of the noxious gas we’ve been spewing? Are you the galactic bile of all our negativity? Are you the revenge of centuries of bad hygiene? Whatever you are, get out. We’ve been kicking fools like you outta here since we were tadpoles. The US is in the middle of doing that right now to a President and you’re next, Covid.

Go back the way you came. And don’t come back.